The Secret UnEmotions of Chuck Bass
by Isabelle
Summary: Companion/sequel to The Secret Emotions of Blair Waldorf. Chuck's view of what happened and details on Season 2. No spoilers, other than what I've seen in magazines.


When Charles Bass was seven years old he became entranced with Blair Waldorf's soft chocolate brown curls and because they reminded him so much of chocolate he instantly wanted to have them

Title: **The Secret Un-Emotions of Chuck Bass**

Author: Isabelle

Rating: PG 13 for language

Disclaimers: I don't own GG or anything like that – I just love the characters

Summary: As Chuck Bass thinks back on his life he remembers Blair Waldorf. Goes into Season 2 as their relationship progresses. Companion piece to "The Secret Emotions of Blair Waldorf". I recommend you read that first then start on this one.

Recommended Songs to listen while reading:

"Us Little Kids" by The Roches, "My Heart" by The Perishers, "10,000 Stones" by Adrianne,

--

When Charles Bass was seven years old, he became entranced with Blair Waldorf's soft chocolate brown curls because they reminded him so much of chocolate that he instantly wanted to have them. At her loud scream, tears began rapidly falling out of her large brown orbs and dribbling down her rosy cheeks… that's when he realized it was a bad idea. He dared not touch them again, especially when she became Nathaniel's _girlfriend_. Nathaniel would never pull her curls, would never push her into the ground (it was one time!) and would never make fun of her headbands. Naturally, she chose Nathaniel as boyfriend and not Charles.

When Chuck Bass attended Blair Waldorf's 10th birthday party, he insisted that his Gargoyle costume look even more detailed than Nate's. When his mother tried to change the boots that he had selected he threw a tantrum and told her he hated her. Blair was very impressed with their costumes and he tried not to let his heart swell with pride. When the boys decided to chase Serena and Blair around the house, it was natural that Chuck found Blair first – because he knew how she thought and thus where she would be hiding. That's when he did the first thing he shouldn't have done. His nose fell on her hair and he inhaled. He knew then and there that that was how heaven was supposed to smell. He vaguely remembers her hitting him hard across his chest and screaming for Nate. But he was off her before she was too ruffled much and the subject died when his father walked in and took Chuck by the arm, dragging him to their limo.

When Chuck Bass watched his mother's coffin lowered to the ground, he realized he never wanted to experience the pain rippling in through his chest again. He never wanted to lose another woman in his life. His memories of that time are hazy but he thinks he saw Blair's sad face across the grave, her hand in Nate's as they watched him. He didn't talk to them for a few months… because he didn't have anything to say.

When Chuck Bass turned twelve, he had already made out with five girls and had been able to touch the breast of Jessica Farris, a hot 8th grader. He was the envy of the rest of his class. No matter how much praise he got from everyone he couldn't get the angry glare from Blair Waldorf out of his face as he re-told the story of Jessica's breast. She had huffed and puffed and walked away, dragging a giggling Serena with her. He decided then never to tell her about any other boob-graze. It wasn't a surprise when, later that week Georgina Sparks got drunk with him and he ended fucking her on his father's bed. He had no idea what he was doing; he doubted he made her cum but he knew he sure did. That day Chuck Bass became a man. He knew he walked a little prouder, talked a bit dirtier, smoked a lot more and the girls just began falling all over the place for him.

At age fourteen Chuck Bass had bedded twelve girls and counting. His real turning point came when Rosy Parker, an absolutely HOT senior showed up at his place wearing nothing but a coat. By then Chuck Bass knew what to do, what to touch, what to say. He was a quick learner and pretty soon Rosy was moaning under him as he lost himself in her hotness. That's when things began changing. The squeak he heard stopped him mid-thrust and he turned, expecting to see one of the new maids who knew nothing of their young master's behavior, but instead he found a flushed and shocked Blair Waldorf. He pulled out of Rosy fast than any man should and followed an upset Blair to his living room with only a bed-sheet to cover his manhood.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He demanded, upset, annoyed, turned on – he didn't know what he was feeling. Blair was pale and shaking, her eyes wide. As if he had taken her innocence right then and there. No matter what Nate did after this, Chuck Bass had shown her a pointer or two in his little spectacle.

He followed her wide eyes and noticed that his erection was still as attentive as ever and the fact that he was standing nearly-naked in front of Blair Waldorf's open mouth turned him on even more. He couldn't help but be pleased.

"Interested?" He knew he shouldn't have said that. Blair was Nate's virginal girlfriend and the one girl he still had the urge to pull that soft hair curls.

Her face went stony and she snapped at him. "Ugh, I'm gonna need therapy." She turned away from him and he saw her shake. He was making Blair Waldorf nervous.

He smirked because that's what he did best. "I excel at therapy."

"I'm looking for Nate," she stated and he didn't know how to explain the slight contraction that went through his chest so he shook it off.

But it was that statement that ignited something in him. "Of course you are, you've been looking for the poor man all your life," he suggested, very conscious of the sheet falling lower on his body. She was trying as hard as she might to ignore his erection and this he could appreciate. He knew this game. He liked this game.

"Fine, whatever. Go back to your previous activities." She turned to leave, hair bouncing behind her. The scent of it hit him softly and his erection grew even more.

"One day you may not mind me naked so much, Waldorf." He cried after her and there was a slight bounce in his stomach as he remembered her crying back something about a lobotomy. He had to give it to her – the girl had wit.

A sudden need to pounce into Rosy overtook him and poor Rosy couldn't walk for a good few hours. He secretly admitted to himself that he loved the way Blair Waldorf's hair bounced as she walked.

When Charles turned seventeen he had acquired quite a name for himself. His relationship with his father was in the gutter but his relationship with women became more and more spectacular. He had them all. Shapes, sizes, colors, he didn't discriminate. He had lost any hope – if he ever cared to admit he had hope – of finding a good girl he could grow old with. Who needed someone to grow old with when you could just have as many as you wished?

"Men have the ability to continue their promiscuous ways until the day they die. Society is beautiful that way," he had told Nathaniel one hazy afternoon their junior year. Little did Chuck Bass know that a few weeks later Blair Waldorf, or Queen B as she was known – the virginal ice queen of their world – danced for him in her negligee. That same evening, as he stared at her transfixed with something like a soft rumbling erupting in his stomach, he secretly admitted to himself that he had desperately wanted to kiss her. He had actually wanted to kiss her since he first saw her chocolate curls. And when she made the first move and kissed him he knew there was no going back. As he held her in his arms that night, he asked whoever was in heaven watching them that he could have this for the rest of his life.

He usually fucked a woman a couple times, at most, before he became bored and threw them out. The realization that he wanted her forever made something erupt in his stomach. After a few Alka-Seltzer's the fluttering continued and he was sure he has some type of indigestion.

The next day, after he had awoken alone and a bit disappointed, he went in search for her. She turned him down, like he suspected she would, but he pulled out his black Amex without a second thought and purchased her a necklace worthy of a Princess. He didn't know what had come over him. He was unable to sleep, he hardly had any appetite and the fluttering in his stomach was turning into a dull pain that made him mope around his suite thinking about her. It was sickening and ridiculous.

But once more Chuck Bass charmed her with his good taste and as she wore his necklace he had the best sex of his life. He got to hold her that night – really hold her. Run his hands through her hair type of holding. From that night on and for a few days they had secret rendezvous, in janitorial closets, in his limo, in his suite and at one point during a gala. In the handicap stall of the bathroom. It was crazy. He couldn't get enough of her, the way she looked as he pounded into her, her long lashes fluttering as she came, her slim fingers around his cock. She was a completely different Blair in bed with him. She knew what she wanted, she demanded it and once it was done and he felt that he was paralyzed for life, she would do something off the wall like brush his hair back. He secretly decided that he loved the way she brushed his hair back.

When Nate interrupted one of their make-out sessions and she decided to go to Cotillion with Nathaniel, something inside of him curled up and died and he felt dirty and unworthy. It was hard to explain the feeling; it was like a precious toy had been taken away from him. The thought of another man touching her, making love to her, made him want to jump off the nearest bridge.

He was frozen in place as he watched her enter the room with Nate, moaning against him and talking to him in soft sex-like-voices. Chuck was sure he was mourning as he sat in his seat as he flew across the Atlantic. It was like losing his mother all over again and he felt like he could cry. But he didn't. Chuck Bass didn't cry. Chuck Bass did, however, think about Blair all the time. Every time he saw her, every time he attempted to sleep, to fuck, to drink. He was drowning in her. Or rather the lack of her.

The words he said to her that night in the bar stabbed him just like they were stabbing her. As her wide and almost innocent brown eyes grew wider and wider at his words he decided he was a monster. He was just a monster and she had every right to hate him for the rest of their lives. When she left he felt like he could finally breathe. And he did.

After he destroyed Blair, he was numb inside. He just couldn't deal with losing her _and_ his brother, Nathaniel. It was like his soul had been bulldozed. He had known she would come and find him so he set aside any type of emotion as he mentally prepared himself for what he had to tell her. What he had to do.

The week without her presence was a daze to him. He'd always had her close, at the very least. If not physically they would communicate via phone. Or email. Or something. But a week without Blair was a week without life.

He disgusted himself.

He tried to have sex with a waitress at Citron but when he started kissing her he felt a lurch in his stomach and he puked up all the alcohol in his system before sending her away with a growl.

The first time he saw her after their week apart she was wearing blue. He secretly admitted that he loved seeing her in blue.

His blood ran cold when she was humiliated and that tiny voice in the back of his head told him that this was his entire fault. So he got high as he could and missed all of his classes. He was now dreaming of being chased by chocolate brown curls. He hardly recognized himself.

She would spare him a look here and there at school but for the most part he was invisible to her and he was invisible to himself. At least now he had new toys to keep him busy. Serena was always as entertaining as a Brittany breakdown and Eric was strangely all that he imagined a brother to be. They kept him busy. So when she called him frantically that morning, spouting something about Serena, his stomach was there to remind him that he secretly loved her voice and could live the rest of his life listening to only her.

_She_ had been the one to call a truce and he listened, he was there and he tried to ignore the way she looked, smelled and the way the air around seemed to move just for her. He attempted to focus on Serena and Serena only but… he realized he was completely and utterly in love with Blair Waldorf. How long had he been in love with her? Since they were seven?

He scoffed. No way.

It may have been the moment he first saw her exit the bathroom with a pale face and an oblivious Nate. Nate never knew anything was wrong with Blair. Chuck noticed.

He had seen how her small hands shook slightly as she grabbed her purse. When he smelled the bile in the bathroom his stomach made a small _fluttering_ but he quickly pushed it aside. Yet from that moment on he couldn't help but stare at her, from the corner of his eye, and just watch her. He attempted to be friendlier towards her from that moment on. For Nate's sake, he told himself.

He remembered he was in love with her when he stared down at her before his father's wedding. She was dressed in pink.

He secretly admitted to himself that he loved her in pink.

She was lush and full of life and he could've gone away with her… for the rest of his life.

Her hot breath against his face as she kicked his leg brought back to life those… what had she called them? _Butterflies_. Yeah. Butterflies.

He did that day as much _heroism _as his shallow self would permit him when the words came to him that night. He hoped… he hoped it would be enough. That he would never have to say more than that.

God was he wrong.

He could go into detail into the next week of his life but the truth was that he was a whipped little love-sick puppy that entire week.

He would hold her and he would see those eyes of her staring at him and only him. His butterflies were multiplying at an astronomical rate and he had no power over them. Sure, he looked at women, admired them but then he did a comparison. Blair's hands were prettier, her hair was shinier, her skin smelled better, and the curve of her ass was more enticing. Excuses. He had to keep finding excuses for this new Chuck because the mere thought that he would hurt Blair, like he had done before, made him want to puke.

So he did the only thing he thought would help. He invited her to Tuscany because he thought that if he could be away from New York, if he could hold her in his arms as far away from New York then that fear that kept coming up and re-surfacing every once in a while would be destroyed.

The night before they left for Tuscany she spent it in his arms and the memory of Chuck of the past so very distant that he hardly remembered a time in his life that didn't include her. When he made love to her (and yes, he was admitting now it was making love because what else did you do with those you loved?) in the shower that morning he decided to let his mind wander to a few years. Blair would be his wife and before heading to the office they would be with each other in the shower… every single morning.

But it was the moment when they were shivering in each other's arms as he dabbed her dry that she said something for him that he was sure would haunt him the rest of his life.

"Chuck… don't break my heart, ok?" she had asked. Like she knew of the shadow that lingered inside of him. Like he wasn't completely hers. Not yet.

As he walked away from her and her small hand lingered inside of his he promised himself he wouldn't break her. He just wouldn't be another Nate.

Hours later, as his father spoke to him and his heart raced he could see her small face, eyes wide and hair wet, asking him not to break her heart.

He would do it. He knew he would. He wasn't the man she needed him to be. He was spoiled, arrogant, self-centered, fucked-up, know-it-all asshole and he would break Blair Waldorf of the chocolate curls.

As he threw the flowers away he realized that the shadow had consumed him and with his jaw set and charm on high he did what he promised what he wouldn't do.

Small, little and blonde was all that Blair was not and he needed it. He desperately needed to show that underneath the layers now labeled "Blair's boy-toy" was still Chuck Bass and that he could take anything laying down.

He tried with all his might to fuck Amy – or whatever her name was. He tried but as she took her bra off and he stared at her breasts, his stomach lurched and he couldn't concentrate on what the fuck he was doing.

He dismissed her and headed straight to his liquor cabinet. He emptied a bottle of his favorite scotch in less than 10 minutes and then he sat and played over and over the tape in his head. _Their_ week together, the hydrangeas, the quiet conversation in the afterglow, the meals shared, the embarrassments… they had their own moments now. It was no longer just the moments shared with Nate and Serena. They had paved their own road and in one swoop he had shit all over it.

When she finally called him, his voice was slurred and his eyes were heavy.

"You're not coming," she stated.

His stomach felt like he had inhaled a brick.

"Blair-" he tried desperately but the ice queen was back.

"Shut up," she had snapped at him and his head reeled back from the strength of her words. "I had a secret to tell you. But you don't deserve to know it. Don't you ever speak to me again, _Chuck Bass_."

The line died and he stared at his phone. He yanked the battery out of the phone and slammed it with all of his drunken might to the floor, stomping on it and then sitting back to stare at it shattered on the carpet of his penthouse suite.

Poor little rich boy who can't make up his fucking mind.

He was a disgrace. He was so unworthy.

He was worse than Humphrey on his mighty high horse.

He cried that night – not a pour your heart out cry, but as he laid on his bed tears dribbled to the pillows that still lingered with her smell.

He made a plan after that. He needed to forget Blair Waldorf because he was sure that Blair Waldorf would be forgetting about him.

So on his 18th birthday he called Nate over and they both got so high that it was sure to kill some brain cells.

"So why did you leave her?" Nate asked him, lolling his head to the side.

"Cause I suck," he replied, his mind too hazy to form words.

"Cause you told me you loved her… and I saw pictures in Gossip Girl of you two." Nate said slowly, like thinking of the words was making his brain hurt.

"Nate…" he took a drag from his blunt. "I love her so fucking much I can't fucking think."

Nate nodded at him. "You're such a pussy. God, I'm so hungry!"

They laughed for a few minutes.

"Good luck getting her to forgive you," Nate said some hours later as they were almost passed out after eating half of Pizza Hut.

"I have no immediate plans for groveling," he told his best friend.

"You have a few weeks, I suppose," Nate agreed.

Chuck was silent as he starred at his bare feet. They were pale and long.

"Did you know she's been bulimic since we were like twelve?" Chuck finally asked.

Nate sat in silence and contemplated this. "God, I was such a shitty boyfriend."

"Yeah," Chuck agreed and they didn't speak of it again.

The Hamptons was the perfect place to attempt to remove the scent of Blair Waldorf from his clothes because throwing them all away had not done the trick and he would still smell her as he sat surfing the internet. It was ludicrous.

Serena, the eternal champion of wronged people, glared at him every chance she got and often added hot sauce to his drinks just to see him gag. The worst was when she put itching power in his boxers. He would not go into details of the social embarrassment it caused him as she looked at him innocently.

Eric was not bad; they had semi-normal chats when they would lounge together watching the women parade before them.

"So why did you leave her?" he asked one sunny afternoon and Chuck sighed, putting on his Ray-Bans.

"That is so last season," he murmured.

"And they call _me_ gay," Eric responded with slight amusement in his voice.

Chuck chuckled and tipped his hat to his young step brother. "Not bad on the wit, Van der Bass."

"I try," Eric sighed, pleased that Chuck was amused.

Chuck was actually counting back the days until a certain petite brunette disembarked from a plane and spent the last few weeks in the Hamptons, where he would be in close proximity. He checked Gossip Girl as much as Iz Coates & Jenny Humphrey and he continued to be disgusted with himself.

"What are you going to do when she comes back?" Eric asked the question Chuck had been asking himself for weeks.

What _was_ he going to do once she arrived? Nothing would be the same, they would avoid each other like the plague and eventually she would find Mr. Perfect-somebody and she would parade him in front of Chuck with obvious reason.

The thought that she was right now in France being _touched_ by some French hippie was eating him up inside. She would be moaning _Pierre's_ name over and over and FUCK.

"What the hell is your problem?" Eric asked, startled as Chuck dropped his wine and started pacing back and forth on their porch.

"Look, lets just get this clear and you're welcomed to post it in Gossip Girl if you so wish. I don't care now nor do I ever care who Blair ends up doing because we are _over_. So fucking over!"

It was that moment, with Eric looking at him like he'd grown another head, when phones went off all around them.

GG was sending news and it must be big.

Chuck wasn't in the least bit surprised that Gossip Bitch was announcing the return of Blair Waldorf… in the arms of tall-blond-charming-one-celled-idiot. The replacement was everything he was not. Nice smile, straight teeth, strong arms, tall and laughed like a hyena on meth.

He was sick that day; he stared at the toilet as he emptied the contents of his stomach over and over. Sadly, he couldn't see any butterflies amongst the chunks of his lunch. This made him even sadder.

He had to get out of the Hamptons. Everywhere he went they were talking about Blair and Blair's new boyfriend and how charming he was and how handsome and Chuck was a walking time bomb about to go off.

He needed to leave town before the party that night; the thought of having to enjoy salmon while she made eyes at some idiot made him sick once more.

"Apparently she broke up with him," Eric informed him and Nate over a game of tennis. "Just now."

"Nice job, brother," Chuck smiled. He had felt better than he had felt all week.

"Aren't you leaving town in an hour?" Nate asked, suspicious.

"I've had a sudden change of plans." Chuck shrugged and was able to beat Nathaniel fair and square for the first time in his life.

He was whistling as he buttoned up his suite and looked his hair over one last time. He _had_ to talk to her, she _had _to know. He didn't expect her to forgive him overnight but he was going to set the first building block.

When he entered the party he admitted his hands were sweating slightly and he carelessly wiped them against his thighs. When he saw her his stomach began reenacting the exact action he didn't want it to. She was standing with three men around her as she laughed and threw back her head.

She was priceless to him and he needed to touch her, to feel her presence around him – even if it was just for a moment. Even if that moment led to a slap.

He walked behind her, watching as she stood, watching as she hypnotized the men around her, and something that he would later classify as jealousy rushed through him.

"Excuse me, gentlemen I need to speak to Miss Waldorf," he said before she could protest and dragged her away from the disappointed men.

"What are you doing?" she snapped, glaring down at him regardless of the fact that her hands were shaking.

"I need to say something," he began.

"No you don't, I understand, Chuck. There's nothing you can say to me." She stated, face serious, eyes stoic.

He grabbed both her hands and she let him but this time there were no fingers intertwined.

"I never did… anything. I couldn't. I was just… afraid and I-"

"You were a coward and sadly that is not one of the qualities I am looking for in a man for myself. Perhaps a freshman might find it endearing but the new Blair Waldorf doesn't find it so." She stared him down until he felt he was drowning. Then, she calmly extracted herself from his clammy hands and walked away.

She held her head high as she graced the waiting men with a society smile before she walked away, leaving them intoxicated in a cloud of her scent. Chuck grabbed a champagne glass from a passing waiter and chugged it back in a single swoop.

The rest of the night was hazy for him but he could still remember Nate's concerned face in front of him before he puked his guts out on the sand.

He was pathetic.

"Did you see how much he had?" Nate asked out loud to some mysterious figure.

"Half the Atlantic?" a soft female voice offered.

Was that the she-cabbage-patch? Chuck attempted to chuckle but it came out as a gargle, dying at his mouth before converting itself into bile.

"Ugh," Vanessa said loudly. "Christ, Bass – you're pathetic."

Now if Vanessa said it, it must be true.

The next morning he woke and found himself staring at the concerned and as usual, disapproving face of his father.

"You continue this way and you're going to need a new liver by time you turn 30." Bart deadpanned.

"I was counting on 25, but it's a ballpark figure," Chuck replied slowly.

"What happened to you? You were doing fine," his father was silent, even more so than usual. This made Chuck sick.

His father looked over his careless hair, his sunken face and then nodded slowly. "You messed up with Blair."

"Father-"

"I like Blair Waldorf, Charles," his father began and Chuck eyed the toilet. "You told me your plans for Tuscany suddenly changed. I hope that is not the case because it's going to take a lot more than a ride in a private plane to fix it." His father stopped pacing and glare him down. "But I honestly hope that regardless of the situation you have a plan."

"I don't know where to begin," Chuck admitted. Not wanting to see another look of disappointment cross his father's face, he ducked his face and studied the missing buttons of his nightshirt.

"When you realize that growing up is not as tragic as you make it out to be, that's when the things you have to do will become easier and if this girl loves you the way I think she might she will slowly see the man I desperately hope you will become."

His father's words left a soft and warm sensation over his heart and he could hardly look at him because he'd never heard anything –

And then Bart placed his hand over his son's head, bent down and kissed the top of his head. The man walked away, turning once more into the cold-person Chuck knew him to be. Chuck starred at the spot that his father vacated for a good thirty minutes before something shook him out of his trance and he jumped into the shower. Now he had a plan. This plan had nothing to do with Blair Waldorf, and everything to do with Chuck Bass.

"You're really heading back to the city?" Eric asked as one of the servants took Chuck's bags and loaded them into the limo as Serena and Lily looked on. Lily was concerned and Serena looked relieved.

"The moment we make it back to the city I want you to join us for dinner," Lily deadpanned and Chuck had to smile. The lady didn't take a No. No wonder his father liked her.

"For you, Lily, of course."

"Serena, say goodbye to your step brother," Lily pushed her daughter after Eric gave him a proper man-hug.

"What are you going to do all alone in the city?" Serena stated in an unconcerned voice. Her eyes showed that she mistrusted him with every fiber of her being.

"Well, I wanted to start putting a proper business plan for the expansion of Victrola. I only have a few weeks before school start and I needed to move back into the house, the hotel bores me."

"You're moving back?" Eric asked excitedly.

"If you're going to move back in there's going to be rules, you know, Charles," Lily told him, a slight smile on her face.

"Lily, right you are. I think it's about time Chuck Bass follows some set rules," Chuck enjoyed the look of pure confusion on Serena's face. He knew exactly what he was doing. Saying this to Serena was a sure way to send out the info into the waiting public.

On his way to New York, Gossip Girl sent out an alert. _**Is C taking the straight road? What will we do for entertainment?**_

What _will_ they do indeed.

By the time the rest of the group was back in the city, Chuck Bass had moved back into the Van der Bass penthouse, much to Serena's chagrin. He had even gained the trust of Milly, their live-in maid.

"What time do you want to meet for the party tonight?" Nate asked him a few days before classes started.

"I'm not going," Chuck replied and Nate dropped his drink and/as Serena almost stepped on their brand new puppy.

"I promised Eric we would see the new Batman," Chuck stated.

Serena was looking at him like he'd grown a new head and Nate was still unaware that he had shattered the china.

"You're not going to a party?" Nate repeated.

"No, man. What language do you want me to say it in?" Chuck was annoyed. They didn't have to make such a big deal about it.

Plus, he was not ready to see Blair yet.

After the movie, Eric and Chuck made it to the suite on time to catch Serena and Blair, still in their party clothes, chatting animatedly.

Chuck glanced at Blair and quickly looked away.

"Sorry, I'll be in my room. Blair," he said as a greeting.

He could feel her eyes on his back and this just made him walk faster.

"I told you," he heard Serena whisper harshly to Blair?.

The first day of school he met Nate in their usual spot and his friend was still looking at him like something was so wrong that he might need to rush him to the emergency room at any minute.

"Would you relax, man?" Chuck asked, ducking his head and avoiding a few students as he made his way up the steps.

At the top of the stairs a leggy sophomore waltzed up to him and placed her hand on his chest. "Want to get together tonight?"

A few of the guys around him waited for Chuck's trademark answer. Chuck bit his lip and slowly took her hand off his chest.

"I'm sorry. I have plans," he stated and walked away from her. He certainly didn't expect Queen Waldorf to be standing behind him and just staring at him. Not an ounce of emotion in her face but watched him regardless.

"Waldorf," he greeted and walked past her, ignoring the butterflies that were somehow still attracted to her.

Next to him Nate would've stuck a thermometer down his throat if he had one available.

He was able to avoid most of the women that threw themselves at him as best he could and the rumor mill was running at full speed, speculating if Blair had actually castrated him when he left her in Tuscany.

He started noticing a different look he was receiving from the girls at Constance. Before, he was used to sensual looks, angry looks and sometimes 'come-fuck-me-looks; now he was getting something that he didn't know how to catalogue. It was strange. And exhausting.

"Haven't you heard, you're the new me," Nate chuckled as a group of freshmen stared at him openly and sighed all together.

"Great. Fucking great, Nathaniel. Cause being you was my lifelong goal," he spit out.

"Want to meet afterschool at Junipers?" Nate asked.

"I can't." he replied, watching from the corner of his eye as Blair was being walked down the hall by a blue-eyed transfer senior. "I'm meeting my father to go over our business plans."

Nate followed his vision and nodded. "She asked me about you, you know."

"To clarify the rumors of the castration?" he tried not to be bitter but watching her walk with the Ken-doll did something awful to his stomach.

"She's not dating him or anything," Nate told him exactly what he wanted to hear but nothing that he had asked for.

"I have to go," he stated and made a point of making eye contact with Blair before entering his limo.

Serena walked up to him later that week with a determined look. "Mom wants us all for dinner tonight." He looked up slowly from his Economics book, Serena noticed the book and her eyes glared at him even more.

"Don't be too pleased to have me," he leered at her.

She rolled her eyes. "Can't you just pretend to be normal?"

"Sure," Chuck offered, looking over her short dress.

Serena groaned and walked away as he chuckled, enjoying her reaction. Then she walked back and stared him down.

"What are you trying to do?" she stated, glaring at him.

"Hmm. I have an Economics quiz tomorrow-"

"Stop the shit. I'm not buying into this whole reformed Chuck Bass act of yours." She said, hands on her hips. "You may be fooling our graduating class but you're not fooling me."

Chuck pressed his lips together. The thought of a reformed Chuck Bass was as humorous to him as drowning puppies.

"Because if you're trying to get her attention, I'm here to tell you you've succeeded." Serena began pacing in front of him and this piqued his interest.

"You're supposed to spy on me?"

"Yes. But I'm not going to because I think you're as poisonous as asbestos and you're going to kill her with your games." She was in defensive friend mode.

"Well, tell her that if she has questions, I might have answers," he said softly and turned his attention back to the open book before him.

He heard Serena growl and stalk out of his room.

During dinner his father looked a bit shinier than he usually did and Lily almost glowed. He wondered offhand if they'd just finished… gross, he didn't want to go there.

"Kids." His father began once they had finished their salad. "Lily and I have something to tell you." Chuck watched his father take Lily's hand.

"I'm pregnant," Lily answered, still glowing.

He was going to be sick.

Serena went pale and Eric looked oddly excited.

"Oh I had a bad visual," Serena stated next to him. Her visual carried over to him and he had to control a shudder that went through his own body.

"The baby should be here around April – " Lily began.

"Mid April," his father put in.

There was a slight silence around the table.

"Congratulations, father," he managed to say.

"Thank you, Charles. Of course, you being the eldest you will be the godfather and Serena, dear, you will be the godmother."

He was able to hear Serena gulp and a lump settled into his own stomach. He hoped being its godfather didn't mean he would be responsible for the little brat.

"What are the responsibilities of a godfather," he asked Nate over lunch the next day. His friend, as clueless as ever, shrugged his shoulders.

"Isn't it odd to have a sibling this late?" Nate asked him while simultaneously eyeing little Jenny Humphrey, who was looking much more delectable than year before.

"It's odd alright," Chuck stated and spared a glance at Blair's direction. He almost jumped out of his seat when he saw her walking his way. The fluttering in his stomach went into overdrive. He hopped she was coming to talk to Nate because he wouldn't know where to begin with her.

"Nate," she greeted the two as she stood before them. Nate nodded her way and then looked at Chuck as encouragement.

"Blair," was the lame answer he was able to get out of his dry mouth.

"I need to talk to you, Bass," she deadpanned and he wondered if he was hallucinating.

"Sure," he stated and moved closer to her. She was just tall enough for him. He secretly loved the way she could fit right under his chin.

"Walk with me," she said and turned, expecting him to follow. His curiosity was piqued and as he began walking next to her, cell phones around them began to record their walk across the courtyard.

"Congratulations," she started. "Serena told me about Bart and Lily."

He nodded. What the hell was he supposed to say? I whack off to you every night?

"Why haven't you called me?" she started. Her eyes were wide and they were questioning everything about him.

He didn't know where to look so his eyes settled on her constant head-band. He secretly admitted to loving every one.

"You said you didn't want to hear from me," he offered lamely. God, he was a completely sap. She had ruined him good.

A smile nearly reached her eyes.

"I never thought I'd say this but I miss the old Bass. The leering looks, the completely inappropriate comments…" she said softly, playing with her hands – as if they looked empty.

"We've all gotta grow up sometime, Waldorf." He told her, looking down at her hands.

"So this is grown-up-Chuck?" she asked, her eyes were wide and as chocolate-brown as he remembered.

"Maybe," he said. Where did these conversations go anyways? He just wasn't used to things not leading to sex.

"Listen… I have some things of yours… from before," she was grasping for words, he could tell. "I figured you might want them back."

"Right," his stomach felt like lead. She was giving him back his things. Somehow it made things seem really over and this felt like poison in his stomach.

"I'll have them sent to your house… I could give them to Serena." She finished quickly.

"No, um, I'll go pick them up today," he offered and he saw her eyes widen softly before falling back down.

"Sure. I'll have them waiting for you."

"Ok."

"Alright."

"See you, Waldorf."

"See you, Bass."

Before he made it back to Nate, Gossip Girl had an update.

He made his driver drive around her block five times before he worked up enough courage to finally enter her building. His heart was pounding in his chest the entire ride upstairs and he swore there was sweat in the back of his argyle sweater.

The door of the elevator dinged and before he had time to leave the elevator a very flushed and upset Blair Waldorf stepped in.

He was too stunned to do anything; he'd never seen her so flustered. He then heard her mother shouting.

"Don't you walk away from me, young lady!"

She pushed the 'close door' button several times, without looking at him. He stood rigid, afraid to say anything, and just looked ahead.

The both stared at their reflections in the bronze walls.

"Take me away from here, Bass… if only for a few hours."

He turned to look at her, she had tear tracks on her face and she attempted to furiously wipe them away.

"Sure," he stated and offered her his handkerchief which she took gratefully.

He slid next to her in the limo and that's when she broke down crying. He didn't know what to do; should he call Serena? If they'd been on good terms he would've asked her what was wrong, but seeing as he had abandoned her halfway across the world he saw himself in no position to suddenly ask her these things.

He secretly cursed himself because she must've cried for him – just like this.

He instructed his driver where to go; she hardly paid attention to him as she sobbed softly into his handkerchief.

"C'mon," he said to her once she had calmed down and wiped her tears. The night had fallen on the city and she followed him into the building without looking to where she was going, just letting him lead.

He instinctively reached out for her hand and their fingers intertwined. This sent chills up and down his spine and he wondered to himself how he ever thought he could live the rest of his life without her tiny fingers in his.

She was dazed and almost confused, not noticing the minutes they spent inside the elevator going up and up.

When they finally reached the top he walked out and brought her with him. She let out a small laugh.

"I haven't been here since I was a little girl," she admitted, letting go of his hand and walking to the railing. He watched as her brown curls danced in the wind and she shivered slightly. The night was cool enough to require a jacket but she was only in her school girl uniform. He shrugged out of his coat and placed it over her thin shoulders.

Tears now dry, she looked up at him, finally seeing him.

"I don't understand you. I can't control you and I can never predict you," she said softly.

"Blair –" he began.

"Why did you bring me here?" she demanded, looking around the view that only the Empire State Building could provide.

"You needed a place to get away," he stated, questioning himself and his actions, now seeing her so distressed.

She shook her head slowly.

"Why did you bring me here?" she repeated.

He ducked his head afraid of what his eyes may tell him. "You loved _An Affair to Remember_. After that Breakfast movie it was your favorite."

She was silent for a moment.

"How long have you been in love with me, Chuck Bass?" she suddenly demanded. Her brows were drawn together and she was no longer shivering.

He secretly decided that she had perfect eyebrows.

Suddenly he was the one shivering.

"Blair I don't … it's been a while," he finally admitted, cursing her ability to make him confess things he wasn't ready to.

"'While' meaning months, weeks – what exactly are we talking about here?" she questioned.

He risked looking at her. Confession time at its worse.

"It's been a few years," he finally said and then avoided her curious gaze and her slow realization.

"Who got me the Tiffany's watch for my 13th birthday?" she asked slowly.

"You know Nate did," he answered quickly.

"Who?" she asked, boring her eyes into his.

He cleared his throat and shrugged.

"I may have helped. The poor guy was clueless!" he said, exasperated. He didn't understand the need to go over things that were so ridiculously in the past that they had no significance at all anymore.

"And the flowers I got sent to me our freshman year on our anniversary?"

"Blair, honestly!" he turned from her, facing the city. _His_ city.

"Charles Bass. Who remembered the anniversary?" Her tone was ice and he flinched.

"You don't give Nathaniel enough credit, Waldorf," he stated. He heard her laugh softly. "What's so funny?"

"I've been in a relationship with you for years… Nate was just the face, the body, the lips…." And her eyes traveled to his own lips and he felt stirrings inside of his stomach. Like the butterflies had discovered how to do the mambo.

"That's not the way it was-"

"You're my Cyrano de Bergerac."

He starred at her in silence. He knew the story, they all knew the story. The wild Cyrano was a known womanizer but his heart belonged to the beautiful Roxanne, a brunette and a true lady. But Cyrano was not the most attractive of men, so he used the handsome and athletic Christian. Christian was in love with Roxanne but had no words of his own, no gift for romance. Cyrano became his voice and wrote the letters that Christian gave Roxanne until Roxanne was enamored completely with Christian as Cyrano watched them from the shadows.

It was a painful and ridiculous film that he was made to watch in sixth grade. He hated it.

"Don't romanticize this, Blair-"

But her arms were around him before he was able to crush her ideas. She held him close, almost desperately, almost like she had found him, like she'd been looking for him under her bed.

They didn't say anything else as they made their way back to her house.

"Thank you for tonight," she murmured, watching him from her side of the limo.

"I'm sorry for everything, Blair. I truly am."

"So am I," she said softly. When she left the limo, he realized that she never gave him back his things.

This oddly made him feel much better. She had also kept his coat. He was just losing things to her at an irrational rate.

He secretly admitted that he loved that.

Some days later, Chuck Bass received a frantic text message from Serena.

_**Get to B's now. **_

With his heart pounding in his chest, he made it there in record time. Serena nearly attacked him as he bounded out of the elevator.

"She's locked herself in the bathroom and we can't get in – Dorota doesn't have the keys!" She was talking a mile a minute and shedding blonde hair all over the place.

Chuck ran up the stairs and knocked frantically at her bathroom door.

"Blair, open up. It's me," he demanded, his hands were sweaty and he felt slightly sick.

"She's not answering, I tried to open the door but I nearly dislocated my shoulder!" Serena was shouting now and her tears were sprinkling on him now.

"Calm down," he snapped at her and that shut her up quickly.

He looked at the door and braced himself. With all his strength, he rammed his body against it until it snapped open, breaking the brass handle. Eleanor would kill him for sure.

But all that vanished from his head when he saw her crumbled body on the floor. There was bile around the toilet and she was pale from head to feet.

Serena let out a loud wail and it took all of his control not to smack some sense into her.

He bent down and lifted Blair in his arms, cradling her against his chest. She was still warm and this gave him comfort.

"Dorota," he barked to the maid who was nearly in tears. "Bring protein. Serena, shut the fuck up and help me get out her out of their clothes!"

Blair looked thinner than he had ever seen her, and this made his heart nearly collapse. He had momentary flashbacks to finding his mom once – but he couldn't go there now.

"Blair," he smacked her face lightly. "C'mon, baby, wake up."

All he got was a moan and some shifting. She needed food and she needed it quick.

By the time they had undressed her and cleaned the bile around her face, Dorota had a protein shake in her hand with a straw in place.

He sat her up and placed her against his chest. "Ok, Blair, you've gotta eat." He demanded her of. She moaned, struggling weakly against him.

"Serena," he motioned for the blonde to force the straw into Blair's mouth. Slowly but surely Blair began to drink the shake and her eyes fluttered opened.

Serena sobbed softly next to him. "You can't do this to yourself, B. You just can't."

When Blair finished half of the shake she would drink no more. Dorota took it away, looking to Chuck for directions. "How about some diced fruit?"

"No, I'm fine." Blair offered, attempting to pull herself from his arms but he held strong.

"Go to sleep. I'll wake you in a few," he offered. Her eyes looked up at him.

"Why are you here?" There was shame in her face.

"Serena was hysterical," he motioned to the blonde.

Blair would've glared at Serena but her best friend was glaring right back at her.

"Fine. I'll eat the fruit but you have to leave before my mother gets home." Blair told him.

"I don't want you to ever do this again," he told her before he left as she watched him from her bed, Serena asleep next to her.

"I think you lost your ability of telling me what you wanted from me some months ago," she snapped, Queen B back in place.

"Really? I think that cleaning vomit off your cheeks put me back in the game," he said before storming out of her room.

He didn't miss the look Dorota gave him as he left. It was a look of admiration. He's never been admired for doing good before and he didn't know what to do.

He secretly admitted that he admired Dorota right back.

When his father called him and asked him to accompany Lily to her prenatal appointment since Bart would be out of the country, he agreed.

"Thank you, Charles. By the way, I've been meaning to ask you: how are things with Blair?"

Chuck didn't know how to respond. His relationship with his father had always been rocky at best. Lately it was improving, but to come out and ask about his personal life was uncharacteristic.

"Hmm… well, father." He responded, running his hand over his hair. "We're talking at least."

The unconscious episode had happened last week and since then she would give him small glances at school and share an occasional conversation that involved Serena or sometimes Nate but they hadn't been alone at all.

"Good. I see it too, son. I see you changing. Becoming a man. I'm proud of you."

The conversation ended as swiftly as it began and he decided to file it under the hallucinogenic phone calls of his life.

During the doctor's appointment, Lily got a sonogram done and the doctor asked if she wanted to know the sex of the baby.

A lump formed in Chuck's throat. He'd never had _real_ siblings before. Nate was as close as it came to having someone to take care of. Serena and Eric were usually cared for by their mother and they were grown-up.

"It's a girl. A little girl," the doctor smiled at Lily.

He spent the rest of the appointment in a daze. He was going to have a sister. A real sister. One that would grow up and become attractive and guys like him would want to fuck-

Oh shit. This had bad karma written all over it.

"I'm probably going to end up in jail trying to keep guys off her," he confessed to Serena and Nate that night when Serena walked in on their weekly poker game.

"You're going to be a great brother. Poor girl, I'm going to have to protect her from you and Eric or both of you will smother her." Serena realized.

It wasn't even ten minutes after that the call came. Lily fainted and thank god Nate and Serena were there because Chuck's mind went rather blank.

Big Bart Bass' plane had crashed over the Rockies and he and his staff were presumed dead. What was the official word from the family?

Serena stepped up and asked for privacy in the family's time of mourning.

Before Nate and Eric could stop him he had grabbed his coat and had jumped in his limo. He was sure he had lost track of the hours or the amount of drinks he had. But the days had now officially turned into a day or two because his own smell was getting to him.

She found him slumped on a bar booth somewhere in Queens.

She didn't say anything, just paid the bartender and grabbed his hand. He stumbled after her because she still smelled so very good. Like a moth to the fire, he was.

He vaguely remembered entering her house and her mother staring at him like he was a dangerous and possibly poisonous animal. Blair sat him on her toilet, the same toilet he had found her on.

She filled up the tub and added some powders and liquids to the water making it smell like girly flower shops. She stood before him and without saying anything slowly removed his clothes until he stood naked in front of her. She made him get into the water and with her pink sponge she slowly bathed him from head to feet. He just watched her; afraid that if he said anything his father's death and his new orphan status would become an unavoidable reality.

When she was satisfied that his skin was pink enough, she wrapped him in a robe and combed his hair back as he sat silently on her toilet.

When they stepped out of the bathroom, a bowl of chicken broth was waiting for him. The thought of eating it made his stomach turn but her little hand pulled him and made him sit in bed. When he ignored the bowl, she sat in front of him and fed it to him.

As he slowly went to sleep, her laying on him, her small arms wrapped around him, a dull though came into his head. They had just broken Eleanor's rule but the woman hadn't come up to enforce it.

She let him sleep for a day and then finally Nate came over with a suit and shoes. He had to at least show up for the funeral. He supposed to he owed it to his father. He owed it to Lily.

Nate helped him dress and then settled into an uncomfortable silence because they had as much man-love as two best friends were allowed to have.

"I supposed I'll start looking for a place now…" his words fell out of his lips, as if he was thinking out loud.

Nate looked at him, questioningly.

"I'm 18… and well it's time to be the man my… wanted me to." The words were thick in his throat.

"Yeah…"

Chuck now understood what Nate felt being the one to take care of his mother. He should've been a better friend. He should've been a better son. He should've been a better boyfriend… he should've been a better somebody.

When they arrived at the funeral of his other parent, this time Blair Waldorf was not starring at him across the crowd, she was standing next to him, her hand firmly wrapped around his.

Only close family friends went back to the Van der Bass penthouse with them. He desperately wanted them all to go home because Eric looked shaken and Lily looked like she hadn't eaten in days.

Serena kept sending him concerned looks and whispering with Nate while glancing his way. Blair never left his side, her hand still holding onto his desperately. When he went to talk to Lily, just to reassure her, he found her in their bedroom sitting lightly on the bed with her small stomach protruding from her body.

"Charles," she greeted him with a nod

"I wanted to tell you that you don't have to worry. I'll get Nate's help and try to have my stuff out this week. Just take care of yourself and let me know if you need me to do anything."

Lily was looking at him blankly. "I don't understand, Charles, where are you going?"

He looked around his father's bedroom and didn't know where to focus his eyes. "I figured I'd get a place of my own."

"Sit down," she told him and he slowly sunk onto the bed next to her. "I don't want you to move. You need your family right now. You stay with us… for a long as you'd like."

He starred at her, unable to process what she was saying. "You want me to stay?"

"You're my step-son. Just because Bart is gone doesn't mean you go too." She replied and he could hear the slight tremble in her voice.

"Lily-"

"I know I'm not your mother but I'd like to think that if something would've happened to me, Bart would've looked after my own children."

The lump that had been in Chuck's throat all week finally decided to erupt out of him and there, in his father's old bedroom next to his wife and his step-mother Chuck Bass finally cried.

He secretly loved the fact that a woman was holding him without any sexual undertone.

By the time he returned to school, winter break was quickly approaching and the senior Winter Formal was that same weekend. The girls were chattering non-stop about who was taking who and who was wearing what and the noise was deafening.

While standing and watching his Blair hold court, he heard one of the girls asked her;

"Who's taking you to the formal?"

"Chuck Bass is," she responded without hesitation.

She met his eyes across the courtyard and his gave her a small smile. It was much later when he realized it was the first time he had smiled since his father died.

"You have to make sure you behave," Serena told him as she fixed his bow-tie. "Compliment her on her dress, on her hair," she continued.

"You forget that I romanced her virginity right out from under her; I think I know exactly what to do." He smirked at her and she swatted him.

"Disgusting!"

He really enjoyed teasing her.

The fact that Chuck Bass was taking Blair Waldorf to the Winter Formal had made Gossip Girl news and he was being eyed like he was prime real estate facing the park by all underclassmen at Constance.

When his limo pulled up to her place he got out and held the hydrangea corsage tightly in his hand. Last time there had been a dance everything fell to hell and here he was, a year later an acceptable man, good enough to take Blair Waldorf to a high-profile event. And she had been primping all day just for him.

His stomach once more acknowledged the feeling of fluttering butterflies.

When he stepped out of the elevator, Eleanor was there, eyeing him with a slight smile on her lips.

"Mrs. Waldorf." He greeted her, giving her a slight bow that he had been taught.

"Mr. Bass." She nodded and then turned to look upstairs. Blair was standing at the top of the stairs in a cerulean blue dress that shaped her very beautiful curves. It was backless and absolutely the sexiest thing Chuck had ever seen her in.

"A Waldorf original usually leaves that sort of reaction," Eleanor commented, a sly smile on her lips as she walked away.

"She's in a good mood today," Blair commented, descending the stairs and facing him.

"You look ravishing. As you can see, I need no clues to find you."

A smile played on her face as she looked at him with… he didn't dare think about it.

"Or ravish me, I'm sure."

Both stared at each other as if ice beneath them was melting so fast that they were drowning and they could only hold onto each other. He didn't hold onto her. He wanted to be her perfect gentleman so he took her hand and kissed it.

In the limo they sat in a comfortable silence, their fingers once more intertwined.

When they arrived, people stopped what they were doing to stare at them because they must've looked stunning.

Blair Waldorf had accomplished what no other woman or girl in the UES had been able to accomplish. She had landed herself Chuck Bass.

In a way he was glad that this was the way he was being seen now. His business partners respected him a bit more and the board of trustees had not expected Bart's eighteen year old son to march in there and let them know exactly who was in charge.

The night was spent mostly mingling and before he knew it, he realized he hadn't had time to dance with Blair. As he turned to look for her, he saw her laughing at something that Nate said. He felt the butterflies in his stomach shiver and then die, floating to the bottom of his stomach. She saw him across the room and then he couldn't stand her gaze.

It would always be Nate.

He walked away because what else could a man do?

He heard her calling after him and then she grabbed him and pushed him into an empty corporate room.

"Don't you even _dare _stand there and tell yourself what it will always be Nate," she snapped at him, her cheeks rosy and bright.

His jaw twitched in his anger, because that's exactly what he had been thinking.

It would always be –

"It will always be you," she said and with that she pulled him to her and crushed her mouth over his.

What else could a man do?

He grabbed her, feeling as her entire body molded itself against his, and he was sure he must've done something good in his life to deserve the happiness fluttering in his stomach.

She pulled away from him and pushed his hair from his forehead.

"I have a secret," she whispered.

"You've had a secret for while." He smirked.

"Dance with me?" she asked, looking to him desperately.

"No," he replied, not wanting to go back out there.

"Dance with me."

"No."

"Dance with me," she demanded now.

"No," he said just as sternly.

"Dance with me," she was close now; he could almost feel her lashes against his cheek.

"No," he whispered.

She looked at him, intensely. "Dance with me."

"Yes."

Fifth time's the charm, he supposed. He then twirled her around the dance floor and all her friends fawned all over themselves.

As they were preparing to leave, their group decided to take the same limo.

"I have to hand it to you," Nate smiled at him, watching Vanessa from the corner of his eye. "You make being whipped look cool."

He smirked. "Yeah. I feel a bit like a changed man."

"I love you," she told him that night after they were harshly breathing against each other. Make up sex was the absolute best. Absolute. Why had he never done make-up sex before? Oh yeah, she was his first in many ways.

"I figured," he responded to her statement.

She was quiet for a while as she played with his hair. "I like this… this being in love thing."

He chuckled. "Never been in love before?"

"Before this? No. Not real love."

"I love you too," he said quietly after a while.

"I figured," she smiled back at him and they fell into an easy sleep.

Years later, when Blair was almost done with Yale and their relationship was based on stolen weekends when she could get him to hold a tele-conference out of her apartment so they could eat Chinese on her bed while he helped her study for her finals, he decided he should ask her to marry him.

Now, at age twenty-two, Chuck Bass was a nervous wreck about even approaching the subject regardless of how many hints Blair dropped or how many times a very pregnant Serena had poked her finger into his chest and demanded to know what his plan was. Even Olivia Bass, at only 4 years old had asked:

"So when are you and Aunt Blair getting married? Because you're not getting any younger, you know."

He decided she overheard entirely too many adult conversations and had a serious talk with an amused Lily about it.

"I'm never going to eat egg foo young again," Blair complained that afternoon, watching the offending little white box sitting on her bed.

He looked up at her from his reports and smirked.

"I'm gaining weight at an astronomical rate," she complained again, even though it had been just last week when she had resigned herself to wearing a size 2.

"I like you juicy," he offered from his end of the bed.

"You just want me fat, like a whale, so no other man looks at me. I'm on to you," she glared at him.

"Could be," he agreed and this infuriated her.

"I'm going to fail my advertising course," she told him.

He secretly admitted that he loved to hear her complain.

"You haven't failed at anything in your life," he murmured.

"Oh yes I have," he saw her crestfallen face and smiled to himself. Blair Waldorf had wanted to be engaged at age 22 – 23 max.

"You mean like getting me to ask you to marry me?" he asked, nonchalantly.

She stopped what she was doing and turned to him, pulling the report that were blocking his face to find him staring at her with an open Tiffany box in his hands.

She looked shocked and he could tell she was running things over in her head.

"I know you wanted this grand declaration of love, perhaps on top of the Empire State Building or something-"

"Ask me," she interupted him.

"Will you marry me," he asked, without thinking, surprising himself at how naturally the words just flew out of his mouth.

"No," she stated.

"Marry me," he asked again.

"No."

A smile crept onto his face.

"Marry me?"

"Nope."

"Blair Waldorf, will you please marry me."

"Absolutely yes."

And her brown curls were everywhere as she jumped on top of him, squealing as if he'd just gotten her a pony.

"I though you wanted to continue having this scandalous affair for the rest of our lives!" she breathed out. He let out a laugh.

"I like how the scandalous affair sounds," he admitted.

"Why did I have to fall in love with the bad boy," she asked, exasperated and looking to heaven.

He pulled her against his chest and kissed her good and proper until she was dazed and sporting a silly smile on her face.

"Plus, Serena is scary when pregnant. Olivia might've also suggested I make an honest woman out of you."

Her laugher was heard throughout the apartment.

He secretly admitted that he loved her laugh.

_Fin_

A/N: Well it's now 4am and I've finished, I hope you all enjoyed and I hope to hear feedback if you have any 


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